Passenger
by BrynnLeigh
Summary: Sequel to Losing Grip and second story in a 3 part series. Now that Alec and Jondy are away from Terminal City and Max, will they be able to help each other or will emotions and memories force one of them to run and relive a past best forgotten?
1. Sweet Home Colorado

**Sorry this has taken so long, but I've been debating on how I wanted to do the second part. Feedback would be appreciated as always. I hope none of you get discouraged about this first chapter…if anything it is a prologue to a very long part two. Thanks… ****J**

_--***---_

_Denver Colorado :: 26 March 2022_

_It took us a few days to figure out where we were going. Then it took another few days to decide if we wanted to stay together or separate. At which point Alec went all Zack on me and decided it was his responsibility to watch over me. And at that point I had stopped caring. I mean what's the point in arguing anymore? _

_And it had taken at least two days to receive the ID's, money, and papers for us to get into Colorado…thank you D…Dix I believe is what he said. _

_We are now looking for a place to stay. Colorado is nothing like Seattle or California terrain wise, but it was also not as run down as any other place I've been over the years. Maybe that was why it had been so difficult to enter. We almost had to abandon the truck, but thankfully they waved us through. _

_Anyway it's been a long ride. That much I can say. The company wasn't too bad though. It amazes me how different he and Ben are, even if they are identical. Still, however, when I least expect it, he'll do something that is Ben-like and I'll retreat into myself…everyday I am reliving the past. I feel like I'm taking a few steps forward though. Which is always a good sign, right?_

_I'm tired of hotel beds. I long for a soft mattress, blankets I know are clean, and maybe even a pillow. I've been sleeping more then usual because sleeping is an escape from reality. And you can never stop running from reality._

Jondy dropped her pen in the notebook and shut it, tucking it safely inside the confines of her backpack. Alec had stopped a few minutes ago outside of a building that she guessed was another housing project. It was their third one in less then an hour. 

She surveyed the area and noticed that there were quite a few people and children roaming around. They were all dressed simply and looked somewhat happy. Jondy even spotted what looked like a yard. Seeing grass was becoming a rarity.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Alec's door was pulled open with an obnoxious squeak. He sighed and pulled himself up and behind the steering wheel. "What now?"

"It's in the price range but I think there's too many people." 

Jondy shrugged. "I agree."

"Yeah, well it's still early and we can always find a hotel or sleep in here." Alec pulled his door shut and started the engine. The truck fell into the comfortable silence they were accustomed too.

--**--

The two of them wandered through their new apartment. The best thing about it was that it came completely furnished, which is why they had went slightly over budget. They surveyed the run down furniture, the shredded curtains, and the faded shag carpet. The dark oak wood of the tables, chairs, and surprisingly enough, and entertainment center was dusty and scratched in a few places. It looked lived in and smelled like old apples and cinnamon. The bedrooms were just that, bedrooms. They were small, with a double bed, dresser, and a closet. They were side by side and had a window facing towards the mountains. It was one of the best apartments the two of them had ever seen.

"Which room do you want?" Alec asked walking out of the bathroom.

"They are exactly the same." Jondy shrugged and moved past him to get her own look at the bathroom. "Shower and a bath tub…it's like a tiny piece of heaven."

Alec smiled. "Yeah, well I'll take the one on the right."

The rooms were side by side on the right side of the room. The bathroom and small kitchen area were on the left. With what would be called a living room in the middle. It was simple, plain, and now it was theirs.

"I figure we splash some paint on the walls, new curtains…this place will be pretty decent." Alec checked the stove and refrigerator.

"I think it's decent as is, but I guess some paint and curtains wouldn't hurt." Jondy dropped her bag in her room and fell onto the bed. "And blankets!"

"And blankets…" Alec's voice trailed off as he walked towards the window in the living room. "I'm going to go find a job."

Jondy didn't reply as her eyelids flickered shut. She wasn't one who really needed sleep, but lately she had found herself craving it. The dark sweet oblivion of sleep was always a welcome escape from her life. 

She didn't wake until hours later when Alec returned. His entrance was loud enough to rouse her from the restful slumber and cause her to slip off her bed and head towards the door. "Did you find a job?"

Alec nodded and set the pizza and water jug he carried onto the counter. "Yeah. It's about twenty minutes away though."

"What is it?" Jondy pulled herself onto a stool and grabbed a slice. 

"Construction…" Alec pulled a pepperoni from one of the pieces and popped it in his mouth. "The pay sounds good. Better then Jam Pony."

"What's Jam Pony?"

He glanced at her. "It's where Max and I worked…"

Jondy shrugged. "We didn't really chit chat about that kind of shit."

Alec sat in the stool opposite her. "It was a messenger service. We delivered packages."

"I guess I should get a job…I was a bartender in San Francisco." Jondy sighed and dropped her crust into the box. "Are there any bars around here?"

"There's one a couple blocks down the street. You can take the truck if you want, it's getting low on gas though." Alec picked up her crust and bit off the end. 

The two of them fell into silence as they ate as they each wondered what the other was thinking. 

Jondy watched Alec occasionally as he ate. It was nothing like Ben. Ben was slow, meticulous, and even if it was only food, he seemed to plan out how he would eat it first. And there was always a certain way to do it. Alec liked it crust first while Ben preferred to eat the toppings first and Ben chewed slowly, almost like he was counting how many bites it took to finish one slice of pizza. And every slice was different. Now Alec, he didn't seem to care. A few times he chewed so hard and fast she almost worried that he would bite off his tongue…or choke. He seemed to prefer to chew a couple times then swallow. 

And while Jondy was analyzing and comparing the why he ate to Ben. Alec was wondering what the old Jondy was like. Not that he really knew the "new" Jondy, but he could tell there were several layers to her personality and the newest ones were walls to hide herself from those around. Or maybe to hide her old personality from her new self…now he wasn't making any sense. She was most definitely a mystery and nothing like he had expected.

During their little road trip the old Jondy had showed herself more then a few times. Mainly to tease him about the way he drove or his road rage…but then she would look at him and suddenly retreat back into herself like she'd done something wrong. He'd seen her writing in some notebook a few times. He would almost pay to be able to read one of them.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the television click on. He hadn't seen or heard her move and he briefly wondered if he'd been staring at her. "Are you done?"

Jondy looked over from where she stood next to the TV. "I'll take one more I guess."

Alec handed her a slice when she walked back over to the counter. Then he yawned, in her opinion, louder then necessary. "I'm going to bed. Good night."

"Yeah…" Jondy fell onto the couch and stared at the screen. Staring at the fast moving pictures but not really paying attention. 

This whole situation was going to get complicated, of that she knew already. 


	2. Scarred

_30 March 2022_

_I know I've been MIA for the past few days but I've been buy looking for a job. It's harder to find one then I thought. The bar down the street…wasn't just a bar. It was more like a strip club. I'm sure I would have been hired if men got off on looking at pale skin and bones. I didn't even try._

_But…I am now a bartender/waitress at a bar named Echo…dumb name I know but it's a job and I get to keep all my tips. I didn't think I was going to get it at first. The owner had been female, something I wasn't expecting. I had dressed to impress a male, but after a few thousand questions she had hired me on the spot. She said I had "the look." I guess she likes people who are a walking freak show._

_Alec and I are living in a co-existence. We don't see each other often. He goes to work before I wake up and I go to work before he gets home. I can't say that I really mind it…I've been having more dreams of Ben lately. They could only be caused from seeing Alec on a daily basis._

_I miss him. I miss him so bad sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. _

_And the dreams are so real to me and when I wake up I could almost swear that I smell him in the air. Sometimes I can even smell the blood…on his clothes, on his body, on me…_

_The smell makes me nauseas but it never chases my love for him away. He did the things he did because I deserved them. I scared him. His feelings for me and his feelings for the blue lady would confuse him. I don't blame him. If anything, I blame her. She always lingered in the background just like cocaine and my feelings towards the others will linger. _

_I don't know if I'll ever be able to get over him and I really don't know if I want too. I keep praying that he'll just stroll in through the door. Sometimes I think I could hate him…I mean he did leave me all by myself and after all isn't that why I'm mad at the others?_

* * *

**New York, NY :: 2019 April 29**

* * *

Jondy cautiously walked though the deafening, dark, and crowded club. Looking around to see if she could spot Ben. He had left hours before her, leaving orders for her to meet him here. Sighing when she couldn't spot him through the throngs of people she made her way to the bar and quickly ordered a drink.

"Hello beautiful."

Jondy rolled her eyes and ignored the man who'd chosen to sit down next to her. She was in no mood to have a conversation with a guy who liked her simply because she looked good in a skirt and tight shirt. 

"I like it when girl's are shy. It creates a challenge."

His words were met with another eye roll as she turned to face him. "Look I have a boyfriend and I'm not interested in anything you have to offer."

The guy held his hands up in defense. "Of course the good looking girls are always taken and always bitchy."

Jondy smiled sweetly then turned her attention back to her drink. Just as the guy had walked away a hand grabbed her wrist and jerked her off the stool she was sitting on. Jondy's eyebrows rose as she looked up at Ben. His face was red, his nostrils were flaring, and veins were throbbing. A look of rage ran through his eyes. She knew better then to say anything or try to pull away from the hand that was cutting off the circulation to her wrist. 

No one paid any attention to the two of them as he drug her away from the bar and towards the bathrooms. She stood outside while he cleared one and as soon as he pulled her in the door was slammed shut and locked. Jondy was swung towards the white marble sinks. She stumbled and lost her balance, her face hitting the rounded corner of the nearest stained sink. Sharp pains raked her head and rolled down her face.

Jondy cupped her eye from her kneeling position and cried silently. It didn't last long because Ben took a few steps over to her and grabbed her wrist and pulled her up so that she was eye level with him. Jondy opened her eyes, but she couldn't even meet them for long before turning away adding fuel to his fire.

"Who the fuck was that guy?" Ben dropped her onto her feet and pushed her back against the sinks.

He was jealous? Jondy shrugged and stared at the floor. There were so many thoughts running through her head that she knew if she tried to speak she would only start crying. She started to sift through the thoughts of pain and fear when he began to yell. Words that she had heard him say many times before, words that were permanently etched in her mind. 

Ben jerked her chin up so that she was looking at him. A lone tear ran down the side of her cheek. "Are you fucking listening to me?"

"Ben I'm…"

"Don't start that I'm sorry bullshit. I've heard it too many time for it to mean anything now." Having said that he began to yell yet again and she shrank back from him.

His screaming only stopped when he heard someone knocking on the door. Jondy brushed her hair back and wiped away her tears when she felt him grab her wrists again and he was pulling her towards and through the door. 

"Are you okay?" The guy who had been knocking on the door reached out to her, seeing the marks on her face.

"She's fine!" Ben snapped and yanked her towards as exit sign.

Fifteen minutes later he was pushing her into an elevator. She stood in an opposite corner listening to his labored breathing. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him pull something from a pocket on the inside of his jacket. It was the card. It was the same card that had been given to Jack back at Manticore it was a bit faded and discolored but Ben still had it.

Jondy reached over and snatched it from his hands. "Why do…"

Ben pushed her against the elevator wall and grabbed it back. "Don't you ever fucking touch her!"

"What?" Jondy stared at him in shock.

Ben glared at her and tucked it back into his jacket. "You aren't good enough to touch her. You aren't even pure enough to look at her."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jondy's voice broke and more tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

Her answer was a swift smack across the face. "When we get in the room…just stay away from me. I can't even look at you anymore."

* * *

Alec yawned as he entered the apartment. His jacket was tossed carelessly over the counter as he walked towards the bathroom. His shoes were kicked off a long the way. He was thankful to whoever had decided it was unsafe to work construction during storms. It had cut his workday in half but he would still get paid for a full day.

He had to give the civilians he worked with credit. They worked long and hard for their money with little or no complaints. Not that anyone really had time to complain. No one talked really. Talking could cause you to break concentration and send a three hundred pound steel beam crashing down on workers below. No they didn't talk. Didn't really need too.

"No what I need is a warm bath and a nap." 

He was almost to the bathroom when he heard her thrashing and mumbling in her sleep. It wasn't the first time he'd heard it, but it was the first time he could make out some of the words. Alec crept softly towards her door and stepped into her room. The shades were closed just enough to cast the room in enough light to make her form out on the bed. They hadn't gotten around to getting blankets yet.

Alec stepped closer to the bed and stood over her. She was clutching the bed as her head rolled back and forth while she mumbled. Sweat shone from exposed skin and her hair that had grown considerably, was strung out. Some stuck to the sweat on her forehead and cheeks. What surprised him the most were the streaks of tears. 

"No…I'm sorry…please." Jondy thrashed and turned to her left. Her shirt rode up a little, exposing some of her back. "Ben…"

Alec frowned and was about to walk out of the room when his caught something on the smooth skin of her back. He reached open and pulled the curtain open just a little more. Moving closer to the bed and kneeling down he saw the bubbled and lighter skin of a scar. Since when did X5's have scars?

He paused when she trembled and waited till she stilled. He moved closer and he almost couldn't process what he was seeing. Yeah, it was a scar, but not just any scar. There on her back written for the world to see…were words. Not just one, two, or hell even three words. Mission, duty, and discipline followed by whore…and a word that trailed upwards under her shirt.

His breath caught in his throat. "What the hell?"

Alec backed out of the room and shut her door quietly. He didn't hesitate to grab his cell phone and jacket. He dialed as he took the two flights of stairs with ease.

"Yeah?" 

His heart stung when he heard her voice. "Max."

"Alec…what…hell…hello." Max stuttered. "Is Jondy okay?"

"Max…what did he do to her?" 

Max heard the anguish in his voice. "What are you talking about?"

"BEN Max. What the fuck did he do to her?"

"What do you mean? Did she tell you anything?" Max's voice was hopeful.

"Do X5's get scars? I mean because I've been shot and been in more then a few fights but I've never gotten any scars."

"I don't know. I don't know, but what's wrong with Jon?" Max shook her head. He wasn't making any sense at all. 

Images of how someone who healed as fast as they were injured, could obtain scars ran through his head. Jondy hadn't told them anything about it. "It's nothing Max…she's okay. I gotta go."

Alec dropped the phone in his pocket and rubbed his face with his hands. Regardless of how well he knew her, it scared him to think of how she had gotten those and he wanted to know what she had gone through. He wanted to get to know and understand her. From the beginning. He would have to get his hands on those notebooks.


	3. Dreams

**I know it's been awhile, but I live in N.C. and well hurricanes suck. I will be explaining about how the scars are caused…just not in this chapter. I'm going to try and give everyone a few different things to think about and a few hints. I know this chapter is nothing like you had probably hoped, but there is a method to the madness ****J**** Anyways, thanks for the feedback and reading!** 10 April 2022 

Do I really need to rehash the last week or so? Okay, work, sleep, eat, sleep,  repeat.

I can officially say that I absolutely hate my job. Sure I get to keep all my tips but that also means I have to grin and bare the dirty plump hands that manage to smack me in the ass every time I near them and I have to smile and nod at all their nasty little remarks about the way I look. Some of the other waitresses seem to like it, especially when it is a "hot" guy. Whatever that means, all I see are alcoholics who probably have a few kids and a wife waiting for them at home. 

But whatever, the money isn't bad and I enjoy the music. Well Alec is freaking me out.

One of the things I was starting to cherish about our arrangement was the lack of talking but now he seems to be around more and he always wants to talk. And not about just anything, he wants to talk about stupid things like the weather and stupid TV shows. I don't want to talk about anything, especially the weather and TV shows. It's either good or bad, life will go on so who really wants to get caught up in talking about it?

And he came to the bar. I would talk more about it but it is an experience I would like to forget. All I will comment on is that fact that I was embarrassed. I don't get embarrassed. You don't see me going to the construction site…I'm sure females like to call out to them too, right? It's just something I don't want to relive. 

I've been having less dreams about Ben. I used to have a few different ones every time I would fall asleep, lately I've been lucky if I have one. They've all been replaced with weird dreams about my morbid things and the others. The latest dreams are of Max and I and we're standing on a roof looking out over Seattle.

I mean I'm assuming it's Seattle, but it looks even worse.

The buildings surrounded TC are in pieces. Fires blaze all around and it's eerily quite. And everything seems so still at first, but then you see what at first seems to be black creatures emerging from the rubble and fires and crawling towards the gates of TC…but then the closer they get I realize that they are people.

They never get close enough though and then all of a sudden Max and I are flanked by Alec, Zane, and the others. And the quite stops and we hear them marching. Someone is marching and they are yelling. But I'm not scared…I'm not scared of all of that. What scares me is the look in Max's eyes and Alec's hand is squeezing mine…

That's when I wake up. Every time I dream it little things become more real and clear to me. I see new things. I see faces clearly. I can almost smell the hot metal of the M16's that we hold…and every time I wake up more confused. 

Maybe Alec would like to have a conversation about that. It would be a nice change from the damn weather. I would rather have dreams about Ben. 

Jondy tucked the journal under her pillow and shuffled out of her room. Alec was sprawled out on the couch staring at the TV. She could tell by the way his eyes were glazed over that he wasn't really taking anything in. Which in a way was good to hear then he wouldn't feel the need to tell her all about it. 

Pulling the refrigerator door open she stared at the contents. With a long sigh and a look she shut the door and began to rummage through the cabinets. With a satisfied look she pulled down the box of wheat thins and poured herself a glass of water. 

Alec sat up a little and looked around when she began to change the TV. "Hey I was watching that."

"Yeah right." Jondy continued to flip through the ten channels that came in.

He rolled his eyes when she was about to run through all ten of them for a third time. "Just watch that. It's making me dizzy."

"What is it?" Her arm fell to her side limply.

"Xena."

She shrugged and grabbed her water and crackers before falling into the chair next to the couch. It was rare that the two of them had a day off at the same time. "So do you think she would be considered genetically engineered?"

Alec shook his head. "Well maybe if it were happening now, but the last thing they were thinking about then were genetics. Her strength went unquestioned."

"I guess that's why she's not real and this is a show." Jondy almost smiled when Alec turned and rolled his eyes at her. 

"We should be a damn TV show."

"Called?"

Alec's eyebrows narrowed. "Adorable genetically engineered freaks made in the U.S.A. who now wants to kill us off one by one by hiring a cult that are more freaky then us?"

"Sounds like you've been thinking about this." Jondy chuckled. 

"I can tell that you're impressed. I should get a copy write on it." Alec sat up and stretched. He yawned loudly and reached over to take the box from her lap. He grabbed a handful and handed it back to her before she could protest. "What time is it?"

Jondy shrugged and stared at the TV. "I would guess around five."

"That's it?"

"It was a guess."

Alec slid deeper into the couch and yawned again. "And you're awake?"

"No, this is all a dream." Jondy shook her head and smiled as she dug into the box.

"Oh so we got jokes today?" Alec smiled and turned back to the TV. If this had been any other girl he would have called it flirting. So his attempts to have conversations were not a complete waste. 

Jondy watched him as his brows furrowed and his jaw tensed and relaxed a few times. "Can I talk to you about something?"

Alec's eyebrows rose. "Of course."

Jondy set the box down and pulled her legs up underneath her. "Do you ever have a reoccurring dream?"

Alec thought about it for a minute and shrugged. "Like of memory?"

"Everyone has those, I mean…" Jondy chewed on her lip. "I mean I've been having this strange dream."

"About Ben?" The words were spoken before he had a chance to stop them.

Jondy visibly tensed and her green eyes narrowed on his. He waited her walls of secrecy to come crashing down around her giving her time to retreat to her room and forget that he existed. He was almost afraid to breathe as he waited but the moment never came. 

Jondy sighed and shook her head. "Contrary to what everyone assumes, Ben is not on my mind all of the time."

Alec nodded and held up his hands. "I'm sorry…"

"He is most of the time but not lately. It's like he's fading and I'm not sure why. I think it has to do with this new dream…" She trailed off in her thoughts, while Alec could only stare. She felt his eyes on her and shook away thoughts of Ben. "When I said reoccurring I didn't mean like a memory or even something I had experienced before."

"So…"

"And it continues from one episode to the next like a TV show…" Jondy's eyes were shrouded in thought. "And it builds on itself."

"Woah okay back up, you're thinking a loud and it's not making any sense to me." Alec sat forward. "You are having a dream about?"

Jondy leaned back and stared at the window. "It's about Seattle and Terminal City, but it's different. It really looks like a bomb just layered the city."

"It looks like that now and you have been there," Alec began.

"Stop interrupting and just listen to me." Jondy gave him a look that reminded him so much of Max it made his heart ache.

"Sorry, sorry."

Jondy rolled her eyes. "To clarify what I mean it looked like a wasteland. What I imagine a wasteland would look like. All that is left are pieces of buildings, the horizon is blazing with fires, and the sky and air is filled with smoke…I almost feel like I'm choking on it."

The look in her eyes and the way her voice had lowered to a whisper was giving him chills. He would almost believe that she had come up with this story to scare him, but Jondy wasn't a storyteller. Hell the girl didn't like to talk if it wasn't necessary.

"Hey…" Alec said softly after minutes of silence. He shook her hand and her head turned and looked at him.

"We're all watching it."

"Who?"

"Me, you, Max, Krit…all of us. We're standing on a really tall building. I don't think we're in Terminal City though…because I can see it. I think it's Terminal City…but it's all confusing."

"Space needle?"

Jondy thought for a moment then nodded. "Maybe. I'm not sure, but we are high."

"Is Terminal City being attacked?"

"Not yet. It's like it's building up. We have M16's and things are being set up. I don't know what yet, but I can hear them working on it. It's like we are waiting for something." 

"For someone to attack?"

Jondy shrugged. "I don't know, but we're all scared…or worried. It may not even be Seattle, I mean…I can't tell yet. For awhile the dream is really quite but then things start to appear."

"People?" 

"Well at first they looked like black creatures or shadows but lately they have looked like people."

"Transgenics?"

Jondy shook her head. "No. I think they are coming for us."

"Probably the Phalanx." Alec suggested.

"Who are they?"

"It's a breeding cult called the familiars. Basically they are like us, only they are naturally superior to civilians. Ames White is one of them and he's trying to kill all transgenics so that the government secret doesn't get out. Well the Phalanx is like a group of super soldiers who are a lot stronger then us." Alec shrugged. "It's a long story, but I would assume that they are the Phalanx." 

"I've never seen them so why am I dreaming about them?" Jondy nodded when she met his eyes. "And every time I have this damn dream I can hear marching and yelling, it's like cadence but I can't see where it's coming from, but it's scary."

"Does it scare all of us?"

"What do you mean?"

"I understand that it scares you now, I mean it's scaring me and I've never dreamt anything like it."

Jondy closed her eyes and sifted through the dream. "I'm not really sure. We seem scared but I don't know if it's from that or what is going on. Every time I have the dream I learn something new or I see something more clearly. It's just a weird dream…"

Alec shook his head. "I don't know…let me know if you have another one. Wake me up if you have too."

Jondy gave him a worried glance. "You don't think something bad is happening in Seattle?"

He smiled to try and ease her worry and mask his own fears. "No, no. I'm just intrigued. It sounds like a good TV show."

Her eyes rolled and she sat forward to grab the box. "It's all about TV with you."

"Yeah." Alec sank into the couch and thought about everything she'd just said. He wasn't sure what any of it meant, if it meant anything at all. What he did know was that it scared him and that he needed to tell Max.


	4. Echo

**_Just trying to build on Jondy and Alec. This is more of a filler chapter then anything else. It's all part of an elaborate plan…haha. _**

* * *

Jondy sighed as she shifted her weight from side to side, trying in vain to keep her temper under control. A stray strand of curly brown hair fell into her eyes, and she blew at it out of the corner of her mouth, unwilling to expend the energy required to lift her arm. Her hair would be shoulder length in a matter of days. She groaned and finally pulled a barstool away from the bar and sank into it, pillowing her head on her arms.

"Tired?" The bartender of the night asked, holding a glass up to the light to search for fingerprints, then grunted as he found one and attacked it with a vengeance.

"Bored is more like it." Jondy responded wearily, her voice muffled by her arms. "And I still have…"She lifted her head to check the time, then slammed it back down with a grunt of pain. "…another five hours before I can go home."

"It's not too busy so far, though," He said optimistically, finally satisfied that the glass was streak-free.

"That's not my problem, though." Jondy sat up and stretched. "My problem is that table over in the corner…" She motioned with her head, too tired even to raise her hand to point. "…seems to think it's hilarious to be trashed by nine-thirty especially when they get to hit on their waitress."

He sighed sympathetically, leaning forward, resting his weight on the bar. "They giving you a hard time?"

Jondy wrinkled her nose as she looked back once again at the group of five drunk men, all laughing raucously, their conversation carrying clear across the restaurant. "All I can say, if one more grimy hand touches my butt, someone is getting emasculated." She punctuated her statement by slapping her hand down on the bar.

"Hey, beautiful!" One of the drunks glanced across the restaurant and saw Jondy sitting with the bartender. "Why don't you come over here and get me another drink?"

Jondy groaned, sending him a pleading glance. "You want to go handle it for me?" As he shook his head, handing her another glass of beer, she stuck her tongue out at him. "You are not helpful." With a whimper of protest, she lifted her body off the barstool and made her way across the restaurant, plopping the frosty mug down on the scarred wooden table with a plunk, watching in satisfaction as some cascaded over the edge, pooling around the bottom of the glass.

"You made a mess, Jessica!" one man said loudly, snickering as he elbowed his friend, who promptly fell out of his chair onto the floor.

"It's Jondy, and I think you've all had quite enough to drink," she said, her eyes narrowing in repulsion as the overpowering smell of liquor radiated from all five men, burning her nostrils. "It's only nine-thirty, guys. What's the celebration?"

" 'Cause you're here with us!" one man said, throwing his arm around Jondy, swaying back and forth. 

She ducked out from under his arm and sidestepped him. "I'm flattered," she said dryly, leaning forward to pick up the empty plates that had held the men's entrees. "But I don't think I'm a reason to get this drunk this early."

One man plopped his hand down on top of the plates, watching in glee as they fell from her hands, shattering loudly on the floor. Jondy stared down at the mess around her feet—shattered plates, food, and silverware littered the floor. She clenched her jaw, as resolutely fighting the urge to snap their necks and holding back the scathing remarks that longed to escape her throat.

She raised her eyes to the five drunken men leering at her, shaking with anger. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell them where and how each one of them could stick it but she was so angry that the words were frozen in her throat.

"Why don't you bend on down there and clean that mess up?" one man suggested, hooking his thumbs in the belt-loops of his work jeans.

That was it. Jondy opened her mouth, fully prepared to let the man know what she thought of him and where she thought he should shove his suggestion. 

"Hey Jondy."

She jerked her head around, shaking her hair out of her face, her eyes searching the dim restaurant, looking for the source of the voice. She groaned when she saw Alec standing a few feet away. Things just kept getting better and better.

"Uh-oh, that your boyfriend," another man jeered, the words rolling from his throat in a singsong voice, his pitch wavering drunkenly. 

Jondy glared at him. "Why don't you…" She stopped as a male voice interrupted her.

"…stand back so I can clean this glass up?" Alec came up behind her. He flashed Jondy a small smile. Jondy saw that he was holding a broom and a dustpan and looked over at the bartender. He only shrugged.

"What are you doing here, again?"

Alec gave her a look. "I came to have a few drinks."

"And you couldn't go to the bar down the street?"

He dumped the glass into the trashcan and shrugged. "The waitresses aren't as good looking."

Jondy rolled her eyes and grabbed the broom and dustpan from him. "But the strippers are so don't give me your shit."

"Hey now…maybe I wanted to have dinner with my new friend Jondy."

"Friend? Don't you think that's pushing it?"

Alec smirked. He'd had a similar conversation with her sister. "I like to think that we are friends."

"I haven't had friends since I was nine." Jondy put the broom and dustpan away, surveyed her other tables, then pulled her apron off and sat down at an empty table, in the opposite corner of the group of men.

"So we didn't get a chance to talk this morning…"

"No wonder I was in such a good mood." Jondy's fingers raked through her uncontrollable hair.

Alec grinned. "And I was wondering about the dream."

"I didn't sleep last night."

"Why?"

"I wasn't tired."

"You have to be tired to sleep?" 

Jondy stared at him. "Are we really having this conversation?"

Alec's signature smirk returned to his face. "Did you really just ask that question?" Alec waited for her to roll her eyes and when it came he chuckled. "So I would like a cheeseburger and a beer."

Jondy groaned and stood up. "I hate you. I really do. You don't see me coming to your work and telling you I want a damn wall put up."

"Believe me, if you hate the way these guys talk to you here the last place you want to be is at the site. Some of the things these guys say is absolute genius. My friend Biggs…" Alec frowned slightly at the thought of him. "Well he would have used some of these lines."

"I'm sure you will too." 

Alec watched her disappear behind the bar and into the back. He shook his head when he caught some of the conversation the guys in the corner were having about Jondy. He took the time to glance around the bar. It wasn't too bad. If anything it reminded him a little of crash, only without the pool tables.

"Couldn't you have picked a better place to work?" Alec asked when Jondy reappeared with a mug of beer.

"I like this place."

"It needs some pool tables and maybe a TV."

"I'm not even going to comment on that." Jondy shook her head and walked towards one of her tables.

Alec was confused for a second then realized he'd brought up having a TV, again. "I do have a little thing for TV's…"

"Like I would lie?" 

"Shit, don't do that." Alec turned and to look at her. She was almost half way across the room but it had sounded like she was right next to him. "How'd you do that?"

Jondy gave him an innocent shrug and walked up to the bar to refill some drinks. "You don't know how to throw your voice?"

"They don't teach that at Manticore."

"I know. Ben taught me. It comes in handy sometimes." Jondy nodded thoughtfully. 

"I'm sure it came in handy for him too."

Jondy's eyes narrowed as she glared at him. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

Alec took a couple nervous gulps of beer while he figured out how he was going to get out of this one. Mentally noting that speaking badly towards Ben was not a good idea. Something he should have realized. "I mean just like it came in handy for you, it would come in handy for him. Don't read anything into it Jondy."

She studied him for a few moments then walked away, returning a few minutes later with his cheeseburger. Alec was shocked when she sat down opposite him and rested her chin in her hands. "Do you know anything about him?"

"Who?" Alec became suddenly interested in his cheeseburger.

"Don't act stupid."

Alec took a bite and shrugged. "I know a little bit."

"What do you know?"

"I know that he…he…uh hunted people." Alec stared at the cheeseburger he held in front of his face. "And he pulled out…"

"Their teeth." Jondy finished for him. "It took me months to find out what he was doing…"

Alec pulled the tomato out and set it on the plate, acting like it wasn't a big deal that she was talking to him about this, even if it was. "Sometimes people can live a double life."

"Do you think that makes me stupid?"

Alec took a drink of his beer and sat back slightly. "Not at all. Why would you think that?"

"Because if he loved me so much and if I loved him don't you think I should have figured it out sooner?"

Alec wasn't sure why this was making him think of Rachel, but sure enough he was. "If he didn't want you to know Jondy, then no amount of love would have made him tell you."

Jondy chewed at her bottom lip. "Do you think if I would have said something to him…"

Alec shook his head. "If I understand and know right, by the time he started doing all this it was already too late."

"Maybe, maybe not."

"You can't blame yourself Jondy. There is no amount of love and no amount of talking that was going to help him."

Jondy looked down at the table. "I don't think I'll ever get a chance to find out."

Alec's eyes squinted at her. "Don't think?"

"Yeah, I don't think he'll ever come back to me so I'll never know." Jondy stood with a sigh. "I need to get back to work."

Alec thought about it for a minute and sighed. He drank the rest of his beer and finished his cheeseburger. Throwing a twenty down on the table he strolled out of the bar. A few thousand different thoughts running through his head as emotions of anger built up. 

With each new glimpse into Jondy's life he was starting to learn just why she hated Max as much as she did. If Max wasn't careful he was going to start hating her too.


	5. Sneak

**I'm not even going to make excuses for lack of updates. If any of you are still reading this chapter may seem a little confusing but it's important. I'll probably update either tonight or tomorrow. Thanks :)**

Alec's eyes snapped open when he heard her leave. He had been lying in his bed with his hands tucked behind his head for hours. Watching the dust particles float above him, patiently waiting for her to go to work. He was debating with himself in his head, wondering if it was the right thing to do. Knowing that the friendship he had worked hard to achieve could be shattered if he was to get caught…but he had to do it.

Alec rolled off the bed and made sure the door was locked. When he turned he stared at her closed bedroom door. Patterns of sunlight danced across it begging him to enter…and he did after a few moments of reconsidering. He stared at her bed. She had been out of Manticore for over a decade and her bed was still made perfectly. Forty-degree angles, an eighteen inch fold, and almost unnaturally there were no wrinkles. It was so tight that he knew a quarter would bounce from it.

He knew from watching her that she kept her most recent journal tucked under or into her pillowcase, but he wasn't as interested in that one right now. He pulled open the drawer and winced at the screeching sound it made so loud in a room so quiet it sliced through his head.

Green eyes landed on what he had been searching for. There were at least a dozen or more notebooks of various colors. Some looked brand new, others looked worn and ragged. He pulled them out, careful to keep them in order. She undoubtedly had an organized system that only she knew. 

"Twenty-fourteen…" His eyes searched through the dates on all the folders. Some held whole years, while a few years covered more then one. He flipped through a few of them, his eyes frequently landing on Ben's name. 

_"I love the way he purrs when he sleeps…" _

Alec wrinkled his nose. He'd never imagined her to be the mushy type, but then again he barely knew her. It wasn't until he came to the year 2019 where the writing seemed to get sloppy. In places the writing was smeared, most likely from tears, and he knew that the small coppery stains on some of the pages was blood.

**_Chicago, IL :: 2019 January 4_**

**__**

_I don't know what's going on anymore. I'm tired of moving every few weeks. Ben says it's because Lydecker is on to us but I know it's bullshit. We've been arguing more and more lately…well when he's around. He's been leaving early and leaving me alone for hours. I hate it. It's too still and quiet…I hate hearing the sound of my heartbeat. If I lay still enough I swear that I can feel the blood coursing through my veins. _

_And all I think about is Max, Zack, and the others. I miss them, even Zack…I can't help but wonder what we would be doing sometimes if we were still in Manticore. Don't tell anyone but sometimes I regret leaving. I know now what I would have been missing…and it's not much. _

_I don't like things on the outside. Everything is tainted and everyone has a hidden agenda, even Ben…hell sometimes even me. Life inside the walls of Manticore was in slow motion, but life outside changes. I long for routine. I long for the simplicity of having a purpose. I have no purpose right now except to make him happy. Lately I can't even get that right._

* * *

Alec flipped through a few pages and landed on one that looked like it was bleeding. The ink ran from the top line all the way to the bottom with words running into the other. It was sad to say the least.

* * *

**_Chicago, IL:: 2019 January 12_**__

_I tried to leave today. He didn't come home last night. I awoke this morning and he was still gone. So I packed up what little stuff I had and started walking. I tried not cry and was able to hold it in for a few blocks but the further I walked the more I missed him. The more I realized that I needed him.  _

_I fucking love him and it hurts. It hurts so damn bad. I don't know whom I was trying to fool. I got a whole five blocks away before collapsing. I knew I looked like a dumbass. Falling to the sidewalk on hands and knees, crying so desperately that I could barely breathe. _

_I waited till nightfall before I returned to the room and found him. He gave me a sardonic smile. And for the first time ever I wanted to hit him. I wanted to break his perfect face. He had power over me. The one smile made me feel inferior. I hate feeling inferior but that's just what I am. I am weak. He is strong. He doesn't love me. He can walk away. I can't._

_I threw my bag at him and was satisfied with the sound it made hitting his hard chest and slapping against his face. He only pushed it from his legs and with a taunting me. This wasn't the Ben I loved._

_For the second time that day I slid to the floor and cried. It took him awhile before he came to me. Scooping me up in his arms and carting me off to the bedroom. He wasn't concerned that I was hurting. The whole episode had turned him on if anything. _

_He knew that he could fuck away the pain whisper sweet nothings to me…and everything would be better in the morning. I am his weak little Jondy._

_I could do anything to him right now as he sleeps beside me. Unabashedly naked and vulnerable. So completely trusting and innocent in sleep. He is my heart and all I have._

* * *

Alec read the words over again and shook his head. The words were confusing him. Love. Love was a funny thing. She seemed to have an unconditional love for him. A love that blinded her to the truth of the situation. The truth being the Ben was slipping away from reality. He didn't have to know Ben or to even read anymore to know that this was the year that Ben's mind began to slip into darkness. 

"The question was when did she start slipping away…" Alec's eyes began to drift shut as he tried to picture what it must have been like. His head rested against the side of her bed as images flashed through his mind.

It was halted abruptly when a cry of anguish echoed throughout his head and the image of smooth skin and smeared blood flashed behind his eyes. Followed by an image of Ben in as he looked down at her. Crying into the bed, blood covering her back. Droplets of blood falling from the tip of the knife and splashing onto the wood floor. Alec could smell the blood and feel her warm flesh…

He jumped to his feet and glanced around. He could feel eyes all around him. They were burning into him. He quickly gathered up the notebooks and shoved them into the drawer. "What the fuck…"

His fingers rubbed together willing warm sensation to go away as he backed out of the room. Alec pulled the door shut tightly and stared at it, frozen. The coppery smell of blood hung in the air and he could taste it on his lips. 

* * *

Jondy dug in her pocket for the key, silently wondering why the door was locked. Pushing it open she spun into the room as she pulled off her jacket and tossed it over the back of a chair. "Shit…"

Jondy clutched her chest when she saw Alec standing in the very dark living room. He was staring at her door in such a way that sent chills through her body. She moved towards him slowly flipping on a light. 

"Alec?" Cautiously she moved around him and stared up at him. He had a look of terror in his eyes. His eyes moved back and forth like he was watching a movie, occasionally jerking slightly. "Are you okay?"

Alec's hand flew up and grabbed her wrist when she reached out to rub his arm. Jondy's mouth fell open when his other hand wrapped itself around her throat and thrust her back against the door. She began to claw at his hands and kick at him but froze when he looked at her and gasped for air.

"Please…" Jondy choked out.

The smirk stayed on his face. 


	6. Back

Consciousness fought to be recognized while the darkness inside Jondy's mind also clawed at her for dominance. Her eyelids felt like they weighed fifty pounds each, sharp pains streaked across her forehead and around the base of her hairline, and Jondy struggled with trying to escape the vortex of confusion she was sitting in. At least she thought she was sitting.  
  
A small fragment of realization entered her confused state, and she managed to open her eyes a slight bit before slamming them closed again when light hit her pained eyes. Her forehead furrowed with pain as she raised her stiff neck and pulled her chin away from her chest. It was probably one of the most painful things she had ever done as the muscles screamed out in protest, but finally she managed to hold her head upright. It remained there for a few moments before she groaned and it fell heavily against her left shoulder.  
  
Her tongue slipped between her teeth to wet her dry and cracked lips, and the coppery flavor of blood greeted her. Her teeth raked over her bottom lip, and the movement of her sore and bruised jaw caused her to groan again. The pain was enough to remind her that she was no longer unconscious, but it took several moments before the memories of why exactly she was there to begin with dawned to her.  
  
Her head slowly came upright and she fought against the pain of light hitting her eyes to slowly open them and focus on her surroundings. She relaxed by degrees when she realized that she was in her bed. Maybe it had all been a dream, but she knew it wasn't.  
  
She moved her shoulders to release some of the pressure she felt on her joints and wasn't shocked to find that her arms were pulled above her and joined together, secured to the headboard. Her arms were numb from the elbow down, but she pulled against the rope that secured her wrists together anyway. When that proved to be hopeless, she pushed with her legs and found that they were tightly secured together as well.  
  
Her head fell back with a pitiful cry of helplessness, and even she didn't recognize the animalistic twinge to it. She looked down at herself and saw that she was half naked, just as she knew she would be.  
  
She leaned up a little to get a good look at the bindings on her ankles, but higher she tried to move the more pain shot through her arms, her head fell back onto the pillow and sighed loudly. Her eyes began to burn with tears of pain and fear, but she took several calming breaths to regain her composure. Losing her head and freaking out was going to get her hurt. There was never a more important time for sanity than at that very moment.  
  
She cried out again with frustration and fear, and pulled as hard as she could against the ropes binding her to the bed. This isn't what she had been dreaming and silently wishing for. After yanking on them a few more times, she began looking for anything that might aid her plight, but she froze completely still when she looked to her left and spotted him. He was casually flipping through her notebooks. The site warmed her heart and managed to frighten her all in one big wave.  
  
"You cut your hair." And he grinned when recognition flashed through her eyes.  
  
"Where have you been?" Jondy turned away from him and stared at the ceiling.  
  
"That is a great question, because I'm not quite sure myself."  
  
"Where's Alec?" Jondy shifted and winced at the pain it caused.  
  
He stood, stretched, and tossed the notebook into the empty chair. "And Alec would be the new boyfriend?"  
  
Jondy chuckled. "No. Why did you tie me up?"  
  
"Why wouldn't I tie you up?" Ben walked to the front of the bed and released her arms. "You acted like a crazy person last night, bad trip?"  
  
Jondy chewed on her bottom lip and rubbed at her wrists. "Ben, I've been clean for awhile now. Not that you really care."  
  
His eyebrows rose and he looked up at her from his bent position at her feet. "What makes you think I wouldn't care?"  
  
A warm hand touched her forehead and Jondy smiled at the gesture. "I've missed you."  
  
He petted her hair back from her face and leaned in to whisper again. "Missed?"  
  
"Yeah." Jondy gave him a look of confusion. "Are you okay?"  
  
His arm wound around her waist and he snuggled his face into her neck. "I've never been better."  
  
When he nipped playfully at her neck, she pushed against his shoulder. "What are you doing?"  
  
He smiled against her skin and trailed his lips along her neck, around her ear, down her jaw, and finally settled them on top of hers. The kisses were soft and quick, nibbling and testing, and she could already feel her restraint and confusion slipping away and this was nothing more than a few innocent little kisses. Jondy pushed him away and shook her head.  
  
"You can't just do that and expect everything to be better."  
  
Instead of answering with words, his lips fully claimed hers for the first time and her arms immediately came up to gather him as close as she could. It was strange how breathless his kisses could make her in such a short amount of time. But there was something about the texture of his lips, the strength of his body against hers, his warmth, and the skill he had using those lips of his that made her lose her breath to the point of dizziness.  
  
His left hand was slowly running up and down her stomach chest in a slow and steady caress that drove her senses wild, especially since he was kissing her almost fiercely at this point. Just when she thought she had figured out his rhythm and could keep up, he slowed down or sped back up so all she could do was lean into him and hold on.  
  
She could feel his warmth spreading through her body. She tried to move over to give him more room but her efforts were met with failure, he deepened the kiss and slowly lifted her and moved her. She expected his arm to reach back around her, but he ran his hand slowly down her bare leg and back up again. Each time his hand made its journey down her skin, he would pull her closer to his warmth and his lips maintained contact against her.  
  
There was so much going on and there still wasn't enough. She had certainly kissed him before, she had touched him and he had touched her many times before as well, but it had been so long. It was if he knew exactly what she had been needing and his body was there for the means to give it to her. When she needed to feel more of him, he would be all around her. When she felt uncertain or even overwhelmed, his touch and kisses slacked off and turned into very gentle caresses that made her yearn for more.  
  
She wanted to push him off her so badly. She wanted to yell and scream and make him feel like shit for leaving her. But he was here now and she was lost in a delirium of need. Jondy tightened her arms around him and he pulled away from her lips and rested his against her forehead as they caught their breath.  
  
He kissed her deeply a few times and almost lost himself in her again. "How did I get here?"  
  
Disappointment flooded her, and a bit of anger as well that she had the right to feel. "You tell me."  
  
He rolled over on to his back and stared up at the ceiling. Swallowing hard, he nodded and absently wound his fingers into her hair. "I don't know. I don't remember Jon."  
  
"Ben, what are you talking about? You left me, alone.it's been almost two years."  
  
His eyes slowly closed and he reached up with both hands to rub his face with a groan. He sat up on an elbow and looked down at her hurt expression. "Two years? I've been gone for two years?"  
  
Jondy stared up into his eyes. He looked utterly confused. "You left me in New York. That was almost two years ago."  
  
Ben nodded. "Yeah, I remember us going to New York."  
  
Jondy sighed and climbed off the bed, ignoring the pain that shot through her body. She rummaged in the dresser and pulled out a tank top and was about to pull it over her head when she felt Ben's fingers sliding over her back. She jerked away from him.  
  
He glared at her with a smile. "Those scarred well."  
  
"Fuck you Ben."  
  
"You talk to me like that now, huh?" Ben brushed past her and chuckled.  
  
She looked down at floor timidly. "I'm not fucked up anymore Ben."  
  
Jondy felt her anger rise as she pulled the tank top over her head and slipped into a pair of jeans. She gathered up her notebooks that were lying around the chair and shoved them into her pack and set it against the wall. Cautiously she walked into the living room.  
  
"Alec?" She poked her head into his room and frowned. He must have left for work already.  
  
"I've missed you too."  
  
Jondy jumped and leaned into him. "Things aren't the same anymore."  
  
Ben's eyes narrowed. "They will be."  
  
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Okay, okay, okay I know you may be confused, but as always there is a method to my madness. You may think this is far-fetched right now, but everything will come to light in the next few chapters, and I hope you understand why I'm starting to get at as well. 


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